Daughter of the King: in His Hands

Yesterday morning as I saw the pictures and heard the news of ice-covered DFW, I felt deflated.  For the past four months I had been looking forward to a dear friend being the guest of honor at our church's Daughter of the King, women's event.  I was so excited for several reasons - getting to hear her sing and share her story is always a blessing and I was excited for my church family to share in this blessing; and I was looking forward to our high school girl friends coming together to hear our friend, and fellowship.  

That was not God's plan.  Yesterday morning, I knew that with a pouty lip.  I whinned to anyone who would undestand or listen.  She's not coming.  

That was not God's plan.  I say that now with a full heart and a huge smile.  HE HAD OTHER PLANS!  

In my friend from childhoold's place, stood another friend.  She stood, and she sang, and she played her guitar, and she shared her story.  She bared her soul before her home congregation.  She walked in obedience with every chord, with every word, with every detail of her private story.  I can imagine she wanted to puke, cry, and walk off of that stage several times, but she didn't.  She stood and explained how God met her where she was at, lying on the floor at rock bottom.  

She stood in front of a jam-packed full sanctuary of people she has grown up with, as well as complete strangers, all ages - she sang and she blew transparent.  She deep-breathed and swallowed down her own will, and made known to many the power of God's grace and mercy.  

The majority of the audience knows Jesus in an intimate way, but I would say lovingly, the minority (myself included) has bared their soul as she did in front of such a large audience.  

The Lord made a path for those to follow.  

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like the mold of the norm was shattered a bit.  Rocked.  

Another close friend who came to the event, said she had just seen Rick Warren on The View this morning, talking about how we need to take the one thing we are most scared to share, and make that our focal point (or something along those lines).  That's where God has done the most work.  He wants us to not leave behind the nasty, the bad, the embarrassing; because that's where He shines brightest.  Where people can see - WOW - He brought you from there!  Or, He helped you through that?  WOW!  And create a desire in others for that.  Creating a gnawing in them to get and have what those who's mess, He's made HIS MESSage, have in HIM.  

The Word says GO Tell!  In one translation Jesus says Run tell that!  Not really, He just says, Go tell as many as you can about me, but I hear, "Run tell that!"   :)  He says, "Go back and report what you've seen and heard: The blind will receive sight, the lame will walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor!"  (Luke 7:22)

I pray that people not only heard my friend's words and her songs last night, but that God spoke to them about sharing their own story.  I pray they take away more than just a great evening, but a conviction to be transparent.  To bare past and share present.  Myself included.  

My personal joys last night came from the fact that she sang "Oceans".  Enough said.  This song has been God's message to me for the past five months (weird the timing).  She sang "The Rock Won't Move".  :)  Anthem.  Listened to it on the way to the church.  She sang a song she wrote.  One that tells her story in song - through the gifts God gave her.

Think about that.  Can you imagine God's face - the light - His presence - bursting forth from the heavens when one of his children, uses the gifts He gave her, to tell the story he saved her from, and is writing now, to let others know of his saving grace, His redemptive love, His hand extended and open and ready to lead someone up and out of the pit, or off the floor, and to take the next step toward freedom?  Can you imagine?!?!?  

My friend was stretched.  WAY out of her comfort zone.  

She got a call yesterday morning to step in, in the absence of the scheduled speaker/singer, due to dangerous weather conditions.  She walked out onto the stage and stared out into the audience of many, and then she obeyed.  God's work happened last night  And it was awesome.  

 

 

 

Somewhere close to 25 years ago, my parents loaded my two brothers and I up in our multi-shades of brown passenger van, and we embarked on an adventure.  An adventure that became a permanent reoccurrence in our lives every December from that year on.  An adventure that annually rebirthed fresh memories, a new story, and another page written well in the book of life.  Our annual family trip to the Christmas tree farm! 

The Bullard Christmas tree farm trip most always began the same - current family vehicle loaded down with us five: Dad (Rod), Mom (Rhonda), me (Ashley), middle brother (Cade), baby brother (Chase).  Once crammed into the car, Rod and Rhonda would kick-off the caroling, I'm pretty sure with "Over the River and Through the Woods".  True to form, at least one of us kids was against the world, or feeling just the opposite.  Wishing ourselves adopted by some other family, who didn't torture their children in such ways as caroling and traveling millions of miles all the way to Gilmer, to saw down our Christmas tree.  So at least one mad kid, with the remaining two belting out those carols with the hopes of further infuriating the mad one.  :/ 

Once at the Tree Farm, we would pile out of the family vehicle and onto the hay bale-lined trailer, on which we would grab at the available hand saws, and fight over them, arguing who was going to get to saw the tree down that year.  As Mr. Youngblood drove us out into the middle of the tree field, and we barely escaped limb and extremity loss - then the fun began.  We would race all over that field, darting in and out of the rows of tress, shouting "This one! I've found it!"  "No this one, it's PERFECT!"  Much to our dismay, no matter which tree we thought was most amazing, Rhonda would have the final say.  There was the checklist:  Perfect, full shape; not too tall, no holes, straight trunk." 

After about two to three years of hearing us complain about how she ALWAYS got to pick the tree, and once she realized just how many homemade ornaments we were going to bring home each year of grade school (I believe I was in the 2nd grade when this began) - we started another new tradition - the KIDS TREE!  Now we got to pick out our own tree!!  AND we got to put our stringed popcorn, and all of those homemade, clothespin reindeer, Styrofoam cup angels, and coffee filter snowflakes - all over it!  Everyone was happy!  Well at least 3 out of 5 usually. 

So back to the farm. After body-tackling each other to the ground over who got the SAW, and successfully felling the trees, we'd wait for the tractor to come back and get us.  They'd shake and wrap the tree, and then we'd giggle as Dad fought to tie those trees down to the top of the suburban or van.  On the way home we'd stop at eat the Lock Stock and Barrel Saloon for burgers!  Once they went out of business, the tradition became La Finca - best hamburger at a Mexican food restaurant!  Mmmm! 

Then we would carol all the way home. Or maybe do a Chinese Fire Drill.  Or play a game where we tried to get people in the cars next to us to look over at us.  Or there was the one year that Cade was so mad at us - he had tried to run away at the tree farm (off into the trees), but we found him, and as we were Decking the Halls, we heard Cade mumble something.  "What was that Cader?"  "Tree's gone," he replied nonchalantly.  And YES, the tree was GONE folks.  That was a special year.  We rode in the bench seat Ford from Wholesale Supply (all five of us), and the wind just up and scooped that tree right out of the bed!  We all turned to look, and sure enough, there was the tree hopping and bouncing down the rode behind us.  Oh the memories!

Once in the driveway, the tradition always took a turn for the...well, it started an uphill climb we'll say - for Dad anyway.  For us kids, it was like a treacherous bridge you see on Indiana Jones movies - where the wooden planks are missing and you aren't sure if you'll make it across.  We always prayed the neighbors weren't home when we got back with our tree, because after we unloaded our beloved fresh-cut trees, and cut the mesh off of them, the battle began.  The battle between Rod, the tree, and the tree stand.  It NEVER went in without a hitch.  It was war, and it was never pretty.  We would try to stay inside and untangle lights and check for bad bulbs, while Dad had it out with the ole tree stand.  Every now and then Mom would go out to check the progress, especially once she heard the chainsaw crank up.  I won't share those conversations here in such a public place, but I'm sure your imagination won't fail you.  :)

It was our tradition!  It was fun and exciting, embarrassing and tortuous - depending on the kid and the year, but nonetheless we made memories!  And we are carrying on the tradition.  My little family has been cutting our tree down at Danville farms ever since our sweet Dylan came into the world.  We haven't missed a year at Danville (in the past 8 years), with exception to last year when Philip and the kids came home from a trek in the woods with two serious, for real Charlie Brown Christmas trees.  My brothers and their brides cut their trees down as well.  And THIS year we had a very special treat. 

Today, we ALL went to the Tree Farm together.  What a sight it was.  All of us traipsing over the field, searching for the right tree.  Laughing about the memories from days gone by, and thankful we all lived through those wonderful times.  I pray my kids carry this tradition on with them.  And I am thankful for my parents, and that making traditions, and having fun as family, was a priority.  It's what we did.  We made memories that have lasted and will continue to last us a lifetime!  Merry Christmas!

 

 

The Narrow Place Experience

Yesterday afternoon two friends and I headed to Ft. Worth to hear a friend IN CONCERT!  I was pretty dang excited.  We were going to get to hear her sing her own songs in a concert setting!  As the ride ensued, and converstions began to flow (for 3 hours), the Lord began a work that would change us all and mold each of us.

Still trying to proccess all that He revealed and healed, and put that into words, but I hope to share that soon.

As for the artist - Lauren Chandler - the best I can describe it is this:  God's gift to her, could fill the Grand Canyon, just a source of love, peace, joy, heartache, healing, a river of Him flowing through her and filling the space around you.  The words He gives her to tell her story and share her heart, and sing her relationship with Him, are full of life; drenched in the Spirit.

And a little bit of girl punk, foot-stompin, declaring His love NEVER fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.  It was invigorating, passion-stirring.

Describing the narrow place we are in - between Jesus saving us and returning home with Him; the struggle, the pain; the goodness; the glory; we wait patiently and full of hope.

The intricate details of the entire night's events; the very words He spoke to us through Lauren; the way we all got there that night, on that day; the events and experiences leading up to it; the stories that were shared; the testimonies given; it was a masterpiece of our CREATOR.  He brought it all together and for it to be so personal was overwhelming to say the least.  I'm in awe.  And I'm excited, b/c it doesn't stop with last night.  There is more to come.  More of His plan, and paths we may have never dreamed of exisiting, were just revealed.

I love you Jesus!  Thank you for loving us enough to do something like THAT!  You rock!  And so does your girl LC!

If you have not blest yourself with The Narrow Place album, hop over to iTunes or Amazon and download Lauren's Chandlers heart shared through song on The Narrow Place.

Peace and Love.

No Limit Soldier

Saw a sticker on the car in front of me in the parent drop-off line this morning that said "No Limit!"

Two things came to mind....

The first, naturally, was a song from about a decade or so ago...nah-nah-nah-nah  No Limit Soldier. Thankfully I couldn't remember the lyrics, and the Holy Spirit quickly took my attention to Him.

With Him, I have no limits.

Just me on my own?  My limits abound. I can't make it an hour into my day without failing in my attempts to be better, or I'm sad to say, on some days, just be nice.  :(  But that's me.  That's my humanness.  That's my junk riding herd over my day.  And I am beyond limited in what that day will bring.....UNLESS!!! 

Unless, I allow my Jesus and his LIFE to flow freely through me...THEN, I am limitLESS! 

A No Limit Soldier for Him. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Phillipians 4:13

I have NO lack, for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glroy by Christ Jesus.  Phillipians 4:19.

PLEASE do not gloss over this verse, I tell myself.  BELIEVE it.  You can do ALL THINGS through HIM.  If I choose to be His no limit soldier.  (nah-nah-nah-nah).

Disclaimer: The content of this message is directed to the author herself; the author is a hypocrite just like the rest of the human race; no judgement please.

Giving Up Comfort to Live in Desperation - Something To Think About

When you've got nothing left to hold onto...that's when love comes down. 

~ Kerrie Roberts

What would life look like if we didn't try so hard to be comfortable and 'happy' and secure?  

At first thought, why would we want to not feel comfortable, happy and secure?  

Those things feel good.  They're like a warm blanket on a cold night.  They're like a hug that holds you together from completely going to pieces.
  

What if our outlook on these things was that:

·         they only come from an intimate relationship with God,

·         and living through, and like Christ;

·         and that instead of constantly trying to find comfort/happiness/security in worldly things, we left room for desperation?  

Desperation for Him.  A NEED for Him. 

I interviewed a Reverend recently who spoke of the faith of someone without.  A homeless person.  They are in constant desperation for a place to sleep, food, clothing - basic needs, and they rely on God to provide these things every hour of every day.  Need.

That's a foreign concept to many of us.
  

SAYING you can only have comfort and security and peace through Christ and depending on God for everything is one thing, living it is another.  Really.  It is.  I am tired of knowing these answers, and not what they LOOK LIKE IN LIFE.  

This life offers too many other things to fleetingly fill those needs.  

Why did it take me so long to realize this?  I'm likely at least halfway through my life, if not further along, and many characteristics and habits and ways of doing life are deeply rooted.

So, now it's a battle.  A daily battle against everything inside of me, against my heart, against my mind, and against what my flesh wants to do and say and think and feel.  It's like quitting an addiction.  There's nothing we can do to quit.  Other than die to ourselves every day.  

People say that a lot.  I need to die to myself every day.  But what does that look like?  What does that entail?  That's another post. 

What if we are supposed to be living in uncomfortableness?  

When I am banging on God's door, begging Him to help me, begging Him to hold me, to protect me, to lift me out of a pit – when I am in need of Him and I draw very closely to Him – I am not comfortable.  I am desperate.  

So what am I doing in between?  What makes life seem good/okay in between?  Whatever it is – life piped full of fluffy false comforts – it makes life's promised tragedies, trials, and tribulations hurt so much more.  

But what if we lived in uncomfortableness?  

How can I stay in need of Him?  Desperate for Him?  

I know that I cannot right now.  I have a full-time job, two freelance writing jobs (what I love), healthy family (praise God), married to a wonderful man, two beautiful, smart kids; great church, wonderful and transparent Life Group and friends, car that's paid for, roof over our heads, food on the table...where is the desperation in that?!?!?!?  

Questions:  What's wrong with that?  Isn't it okay to be blessed?  But again, where's the desperation?  

In Romans Chapter 11 it speaks about Our blessings and bounty becoming a snare, a trap, a stumbling block and retribution.  

But do we stumble beyond recovery?  No. 

Maybe others don't need desperation to walk hand-in-hand, but I do! 

And so, is it crazy to contemplate giving up things that give us security to make room for desperation?   

And, how do we teach this to our children now, without instilling fear and sadness?   


Feedback solicited.  

This ache, this longing, this heart that I've been searching, this moment while I'm praying, show me.  You're plan, your promise, a pain that has a purpose, I let you in to use it; just like your hands built heavens arms, you're making me so beautiful.  ~ Kerrie Roberts

Romans 11:7-10

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁷ So this is the situation: Most of the people of Israel have not found the favor of God they are looking for so earnestly. A few have—the ones God has chosen—but the hearts of the rest were hardened. ⁸ As the Scriptures say,

   “God has put them into a deep sleep.
   To this day he has shut their eyes so they do not see,
      and closed their ears so they do not hear.”^[a]

 ⁹ Likewise, David said,

   “Let their bountiful table become a snare,
      a trap that makes them think all is well.
   Let their blessings cause them to stumble,
      and let them get what they deserve.
 ¹⁰ Let their eyes go blind so they cannot see,
      and let their backs be bent forever.”^[b]

Peace on Earth

This past Sunday, an interesting lesson was shared.  Our Sunday School (SS), aka Life Group, teacher threw out the idea of Peace on Earth.  What does that mean, he questioned.

You see it on Christmas cards, you hear people talk about it, but have you ever really thought about what Peace on Earth would literally look like, and/or mean?

Interesting. 

We looked at three versus.

1) Luke 2:8-14
2) Isaiah 9:6-7
3) Luke 12:49-51

1) Luke 2:8-14 (New International Version, ©2010)

 ⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
 ¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 ¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

2) Isaiah 9:6-7 (New International Version, ©2010)

⁶ For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
⁷ Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

3) Luke 12:49-51 (New International Version, ©2010) 
Not Peace but Division - this is Jesus speaking
    ⁴⁹ “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! ⁵⁰ But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! ⁵¹ Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.

If you're like me, and some others in our class, reading the first two versus was kind of like, yada yada yada, yes, Christ was born and there was peace on earth - we've heard it a hundred times.  But the third verse was like a record screeching to a halt.  (Wish I could type that sound).  Also, in no way am I saying the birth of Christ was old news, just that we've heard those versus so many times, we naturally do the 'peace on earth, good will to men' out of habit.


If you look more closely:
Verse 1: Christ was born, the angels said do not fear, there will be peace on earth to whom his favor rests.
Verse 2: Foreshadows Christ's birth; there will be no end to HIS peace
Verse 3: Jesus says "you think I came to GRANT peace on earth? No, rather division."


SO, what in the world was Jesus talking about in the third verse???

When there isn't peace in your life, that typically means you aren't willing to surrender.  It's a struggle and a conflict to surrender things you may be dealing with.  Things you want to handle on your own.  And it will always be a struggle, because we're human.  Also, when we do start having a good, close relationship with God, beware of pride coming in to trip you. 

David, our teacher, said to think about all of the peace treaties in world history.  He asked if we could think of one, where one side did not surrender in some way.  There was only one - the peace treaty between North and South Korea.  No one actually surrendered, thus there being no actual peace between the two today.

If you want peace in your life, you must continually surrender, every day.  And for those uncomfortable with the term 'surrender' - don't look at it as a power struggle.  Look at surrendering things as a relief.  There are very stressful, consuming situations in my life, that I breathe a sigh of relief over, when I surrender them over to God to handle.  It's lightening.  

So, mabye what Jesus was saying in the 3rd verse was that achieving individual peace, would cause division.  It may cause conflict internally for you, and it may cause division with our culture, or a group of people, or other circles and relationships in your life.  

So when you hear Peace on Earth, instead of thinking how nice that sounds, and how wonderful that would be, look inward and see where you can make room to receive the peace Christ can give you.

Disclaimer: I do not claim these thoughts to be my own entirely.  Most borrowed from said SS lesson.  Attributed to David Ummel.  

What a Weekend!

God is good.  I have had the best last four days, and I feel really blessed.  Philip is out of town, and while that does not have anything to do with me having such an outstanding weekend, I have to mention it, because usually when he's out of town things are really crazy, and by that I mean - I'm really crazy.  It's typically me and the kids and eventually them driving me crazy.  Anway, I have had a wonderful last few days and wanted to share.

Thursday, Christi stopped by for a quick visit, which was really nice, because we haven't seen each other in forever, and it was wonderful to visit and get a hug.  That evening Gin, Holly, Candy and I shared coffee (or warm milk for some) and many, many laughs, which always turn into tears from laughing so ridiculously hard.  I treasure our time together.  It's so good and to be able to catch up even if for just a few hours and have a good laugh or two. 

Friday evening my parents graciously obliged to keep the kids while I went to a baby shower for a friend from church.  It was a couples shower and the kids were welcome to come, but it was nice to go and visit, and catch up with everyone from our Life Group class.  After the shower I headed out to Tennisonville for MORE girl time.  We had SO much fun visiting, swapping stories, laughing, laughing, and laughing some more until 4:30 Saturday morning!  I haven't stayed up that late in a very long time, and while I was a wee bit tired the next day, it was so worth it.  My heart and soul had been restored with time spent with some of the females in my life, and I am very grateful to my parents for keeping the precious urchins, and to God for good friends.

Saturday I took the kids to see the new Shrek after running errands, and while there were parts that were certainly more geared towards adults it was pretty cute and they had a good time. We had a pretty good, fairly lazy rest of the day - doing some coloring and painting and watching a few cartoons.

And finally, today.  I went to a new Parenting study for Life Group this morning, which will last 6-weeks, and really enjoyed it.  I'll keep you posted on what I learn.  And, I have to say, this morning's worship service was one of the best I've been to in a long time.  For many reasons.  We've combined our two services into one for the time being, and so they've blended the worship between traditional hymns and contemporary songs, and I loved it.  The church was the fullest I've seen it in a long time, and it felt like such a family.  and when everyone was singing, it was so loud and filled up that big sanctuary like it used to when I was kid.  It was kind of emotional for me for several reasons.  It was just a good, raw, nostalgic, yet new, sort of thing.  The sermon revealed a parabale in Luke in new light and was really thought provoking. 

We also had a wonderful Father's Day lunch with my dad.  The kids called P this morning on speaker (as Dylan requested).  They yelled Happy Father's Day! We miss you, and proceeded to give him play by plays of what we were doing - donut shop, so and so's licking me, etc.  I'm sure P enjoyed it.   

So a few things...if you haven't been blessed with some girl time - whether coffee with one friend, or a semi-sleepover with several, or even a good phone conversation - DO IT!  Pick up the phone or make some plans, because you will be blessed!!!!

And if you don't have a church home in Longview - come join us one Sunday.  I really think people will enjoy the blended worship - a little bit of traditional with a litlte bit of contemporary seemed like just the right thing this morning!  www.fbcl.org

Well, this is one of the posts where at the end, I think to myself, "Why does anyone care what I did this weekend?"  But maybe writing about what's important to me, and mundane to others, will at leaset keep me in the habit of posting.  We'll see.  Peace and love.